


Blood in the Water

by the_interuniversal_geometer



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Beating up criminals, Feral Edward Elric, Gen, Humor, Non-Graphic Violence, Vaguely Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:00:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25818466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_interuniversal_geometer/pseuds/the_interuniversal_geometer
Summary: Ed beats up a loan shark while Al watches on in amusement.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43
Collections: FMA: S H A R K





	Blood in the Water

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to interpret the prompt “shark” very loosely. This is vaguely post-Promised Day but how far after? We’ll never know. Ed is feral, Al is an enabler, and together they make a great team. Thanks to Lep for betaing this fic!

“Brother,” Al said admonishingly as he opened the door, “why didn’t you tell me where you were going to be? I’ve been looking for you all afternoon.”

Looking around the room, Al could see that the whole office had been hit by an Ed-shaped tornado. All of the drawers of the desk were either opened or lying strewn across the floor. An entire bookcase had been pushed away from the wall and overturned. The ground was littered with transmutation marks, as if sections of the flooring had been torn up and then hastily repaired, perhaps in search of something underneath.

Ed stood by the back wall of the room, lifting a bleeding and bruised man by his shirt front. Ed was silent but the man was sobbing and blubbering at him. 

“I hadn’t expected to take this long, and it’s not really a job for two, Al,” he said, not looking at him. “It was supposed to be a real quickie, a favor for Elaine.”

“Oh, so _you’re_ the loan shark.” Al’s voice was hard as he rounded on the man despite the smile that hadn’t left his face. “Mrs. García mentioned you.”

“You’ll help me,” he turned to Al and begged. “Please, this man broke into my house! He’s trying to rob me and beat me up. You’re a nice young man, don’t let this criminal hurt me anymore!”

“Oh, no,” Al said with a small shake of his head. “I’ll be here to make sure it doesn’t get too out of hand. It hasn’t gotten to that point yet,” he said with a sweet smile. He pulled up a wooden chair that screeched loudly across the hardwood floor. He turned it around so he could straddle it and then folded his arms over the top of the chair, resting his face on them and his cane on the floor beside him. “You can keep going,” he told Ed. 

Ed shrugged. “Well, you heard the man. We’re not done here: where is the money you took from the Garcías? The deed to their house?”

“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the man said through the torrent of blood flowing from his nose. “I do all of my business legally! I give out loans, I’m not a crook!” 

“Let’s try that again,” Ed said, pulling the man forward before slamming him into the wall again. “You’ve got ten fingers. I’m sure it wouldn’t be too bad if I broke one of them.” The man looked wildly from Ed to Al and back again, but Al just looked on placidly.

“You’re both fucking crazy, you know that?” he yelled. Ed just grinned widely.

//

Ed was in Roy’s office, slouched back in a chair with a bored expression, automail hand tapping absently on his leg.

“Edward. You understand that I’m going to have to discipline you for this incident.”

“I don’t see why!” Ed exclaimed, leaping up out of his chair and bracing his hands on Roy’s desk, upsetting a neat stack of paperwork. “That man was a criminal. And anyway, I didn’t do much more than threaten him!”

Roy watched despondently as papers fluttered around. He could feel the beginning of a headache at his temples. “Much? You broke his nose.”

“Eh, it’ll heal,” Ed dismissed with a wave of his hand, sitting back down.

“Ed _you’re_ a criminal,” Roy said, “and you don’t see me threatening _you_ with bodily harm.”

“You don’t remember?” Ed challenged. “I distinctly recall you threatening a child in a wheelchair and then offering him a position in the military. How was this any different?”

Roy’s ears turned pink but his voice didn’t change. “Your case was very much different. There must be _some_ disciplinary action. You’re lucky that you’re not being court-martialed for this. What will civilians think when they learn a State Alchemist put a man in the hospital?”

“He’s in the hospital?” Ed marveled. “For a broken nose? Is he getting an automail replacement?” What would that be like, just cutting it off and replacing it with a bronze one? Ed imagined it and couldn’t stifle a giggle. 

“Edward!” Roy said sharply. “This isn’t funny.”

“Of course not,” he said with a grin. “So what’s my punishment, Bastard? Latrine duty for a week?” he mocked.

“No,” said Roy with a gleam in his eyes. “ _Desk_ duty.”

“Wha—you can’t! I’m no use doing paperwork,” Ed squawked. “Who’s going to clean up that mess in Aerugo?”

“For a month.”

“But—but you can’t do _that!”_

“You’ll find that I very much _can,_ ” Roy said with satisfaction. “Next time, _think_ before you run off and beat up petty criminals.”

“You’ve never objected to me doing this before,” Ed said. 

“Well, this one has _connections._ ” He spat out the word as if it was dirty. “So, for both of our sakes, I must be seen to punish you for this incident.”

“Be seen to?” Ed asked, hopefully. “So you don’t actually—”

“Not as such,” Roy allowed, “but you’ll be more…useful to me here than in Aerugo, until we get this mess sorted out. This is a temporary measure until we can deal with the…situation you’ve caused.”

“Did the Garcías get their house back?” Ed asked, standing up to leave. 

“Yes,” Roy said and then grimaced as if it pained him to say the next part, “...good job on that, by the way.”

Ed grinned, showing off his teeth, and Roy was reminded of a predator baring their fangs. “Anytime, Bastard,” he said, turning around and opening the door.

“No, that’s—” but Ed had already left, slamming the door behind him. Roy put his head in his hands. He could feel his head throbbing in horrible anticipation for this coming month. Ed’s punishment was already shaping up to be more of _Roy’s_ punishment than the other way around.


End file.
